Everyone’s got a story. From slipping and sliding around an abandoned field to stalling innumerable times in a whisper-quiet side street, it seems nobody’s first time driving a car goes all that well.
Yet, on most occasions, it’s a tale told through a smile. What should be a deeply overwhelming experience ends up being joyful, and I reckon it’s all thanks to that most unsung of automotive heroes, the driving instructor.
They teach us about everything from biting points to brake distances with a seemingly universal dry wit, maintained despite a background of long hours, months-long waits for test slots and what must be among the most treacherous working conditions in civilian life.
These brave souls wake up every morning and willingly strap themselves into the passenger seat of a tonne or more of fast-moving metal, with a total novice at the controls.
Surely, I wonder, they must stir their coffee mulling what close shaves they’ll have today. Will it be errant acceleration into a pack of parked cars, an attempt to circumnavigate a roundabout anti-clockwise, or the failure to register a group of schoolchildren entering a zebra crossing?
They carry a great deal of responsibility, not just in protecting the learner in their guardianship but also the wider community exposed to the rookie at the wheel.
Given the sheer complexity of the modern car, that’s no mean feat. I learned in a Ford Focus with a standard throttle, brake and clutch, but also a button-operated handbrake, drive mode selector, reversing camera, speed limit detection and an overly paranoid emergency braking system.
That was daunting, but throw in the bings and bongs mandated by new legislation, or the awkward powertrain blending that can be introduced by electrification, and I can see it being downright overwhelming for a newbie.
Yet the sage in the passenger seat just powers them through it. Whether it’s a nurturing, guiding hand as they gradually paddle their way through side streets, or the hairdryer treatment after grating the nearside wheels on a high kerb, the driving instructor just has a way of making it work on most occasions.
